


Tears are just another thing we all once need

by pictureasmile



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: After 1x13, Fluff, Malec, No Smut, Shoooort, just something short to get back into riting again, my baby sons, there are tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 10:03:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6606697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pictureasmile/pseuds/pictureasmile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everthing has been a Little bit too much and Alec can't sleep</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tears are just another thing we all once need

The institute was calm that night. everybody was still shocked by what happened in the past two days and were stunned into silence. Alec couldn't sleep, too worried about his parabatai, unsure what will happen now that Jocelyn was awake again and then there was also the thing with Magnus. He wished that he could just ignore most of his troubles, Jace was by far enough but he also felt like he needed Magnus now more than ever. So yes, he was anxious all over and had too many worries on his mind and he did not know what to do about it. His blanket lay at the end of his bed, his pillow over his face and his frustration made his whole body shake. Alec hated it. This restlessness is exactly why he always tried to ignore feeling anything.

He finally gave up on sleeping at all and got out of his bed. His curtains were slightly opened and the moon cast a sliver of light onto his bed and he wished blocking his thoughts out would be as easy as closing a curtain. His naked feet hit the cold ground but Alec didn't even realise. He silently moved into the hallway looking if anybody else was still around. He sighed a breath of relieve when he found the halls to be empty. He wandered around the building not knowing where he actually wanted to go. His bones were aching but that thought was pushed far to the back of his head. The shadowhunter found himself in the training room and his tensed muscles finally relaxed. The room was the same as always at this time. Not like the rest of the institute.

Even with (almost) everybody in their rooms one could feel the tension seeping through the walls like poison. Nobody felt save anymore and you were able to see it on all of their faces. Magnus' magic was strong but so was Valentine and many of them had seen him rise before. He was able to hear voices coming from the conference room. Which meant that his parents probably were still awake too, informing the Clave about what has happened. Alec moved into one of the first defence positions he has ever learned and started through the routine. His body moved fluently, automatic and it almost felt like he was mediating. Training had always been the one thing he felt good about. It meant that he was trying to improve and improvement got him closer to being able to fight better. He still heard the humming of electricity all around him. The power which made the institution one of the best world wide. The mundanes were not completely helpless, he thought to himself.

His movements became faster and faster, his muscles pulling stronger together and even though it was one of the first routines he had to learn did his body feel weakened and exhausted. He felt the earth beneath his feet moving and saw his sight getting blurry and he fell. He didn't even try to catch himself, didn't need to with his body reacting by itself. Laying on the ground he heard voices and feet walking close to the training room but not close enough, the meeting must have ended. He was still starring at the ceiling when a voice broke through to him: “Shouldn't you be asleep by now,” the man asked. Alec didn't move. “Shouldn't you be home by now,” he retorted instead. Magnus laughed slightly. “I'll give you that. But no, your mother wanted me to stay to explain a few things to the Clave first. Somebody who...hm, might have a slightly less personal few on things.” He said it like he didn't believe it himself and Alec himself knew that Magnus saw more behind his mothers decision. It was more of 'he is a downwolder and his involvement might be small but it is by far better than putting my own children in front of the Clave.' Alec would be lying if he said that he didn't understand. “I'm sorry,” he whispered. “Don't be Alexander, non of this is your fault,” Magnus tried to reassure him but Alec only shook his head. “It is though,” his voice was bet and his words came out slowly both from tiredness and thoughtfulness. “He is my parabatai, Magnus. I knew what was going on. But I once in my life wanted to do something for me and before that everything was such a mess. Since we've met Clary he was distancing himself from me and of course I understand that to a certain degree and it was fine because he was fine and now… I mean. He still has her, she would still die for him and I knew that. I trusted her with him because I'm not the one who could understand. But now..” he ran out of breath and out of words and Magnus could see just how tired the young man was. He moved closer to him and sat down.

“You cannot blame yourself for everything Alec. Yes, Jace is your parabatai but he chose this. He pushed you away, pretended to be fine. But most of all: He is Valentine's son and that means that he is really confused right now. You're right in saying that Clary is the only one who can reach him but she's also what makes it harder. Valentine brought Jace up, just like your mother has power of you, that man also has power over Jace. It's okay though Alexander, we will get him back, okay? We all will stand with you, don't forget that you're not alone. You did everything you could to keep onto him and it was Jace's choice to not take your hand. So please, stop hurting yourself about something you couldn't have changed.” And that was it for Alec. He turned into Magnus, his head resting on the Warlock's lap and he started crying. He had so many things bottled up inside himself and he finally felt like that emotional mess was easing its grip on him a little. Magnus didn't seem shocked and simply reacted with care. His hand slowly started to slide through Alec's hair while his other hand moved over his back as to make breathing more bearable. It has been a long time since Alec cried, so long that he had forgotten how calming and healthy it could be. He didn't know for how long he lay like that, curled into himself with Magnus as wall around him until his breathing finally evened out again but his eyes felt puffy and Magnus' shirt looked a little...destroyed. “Okay love,” the high Warlock asked and Alec nodded in return. Slowly Magnus helped him up and moved him away from the training room in the direction of his private quarters.

The way felt longer than usual. Alec was barely able to keep himself up leading to him being even more glad for Magnus' presence. He didn't even feel his legs move anymore and everything around him blurred together. It was then that Magnus simply picked him up and not a second later Alec was unconscious in his arms. His body went limp and relaxed into the strong hold of the other man and Alec knew what was happening as if his thoughts were more clear even though he didn't have much control left. He felt the soft touch of his bed sheets against his body and felt how Magnus tucked him in tight. That wouldn’t do though, he thought to himself and did everything to get his mouth to move before Magnus decided to leave. He kept his eyes shut as he freed his arm from beneath the blanket. He stretched it out blindly, hoping that Magnus was still close. “Stay,” he mumbled. He was barley intelligible but Magnus seemed to get what he wanted anyway. “I'll sleep in the armchair then,” he responded but Alec shook his head vehemently. “Want you close,” his words were still slurred and it got harder with every syllable but it didn't matter. He just wanted Magnus to stay right there with him. He heard Magnus chuckle slightly and the light behind his eyelids became a little bit brighter for just a second before he felt the bed dip right next to him. The blanket he so desperately tried to get of was softly removed before another body joined him under the warming fabric. “Good now?” The warlock asked but Alec just cuddled closer and exhaled a sigh as Magnus slung his arms around his bigger body. It already felt a lot like home, was Alec's last thought before he was taken away by his dreams. And it was the first time in ages that he slept well. In the arms of a man he knew so little about but trusted so much. A man he wanted to know everything about and wanted to know everything about him too. A man he might possibly was falling in love with.


End file.
